First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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