I hate all girls vehemently.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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