Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize