i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
