Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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