i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
