I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
