yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am available for nakedness
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