quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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