our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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