Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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