omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
