Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
