I wanna passion pit in your ass
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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