i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Can I use your boat
Also, whatโs the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? Itโs the middle of the night
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