there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
