The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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