wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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