You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
