some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
