I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
