I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
