I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
