I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
and she was petting her beer can
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
