I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
