I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
