Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize