I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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