Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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