I love black thongs
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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