I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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