didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
