R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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