I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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