mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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