Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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