Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
