Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
