dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
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So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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