this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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