White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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