Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize