How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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