hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
