Kiss
Puke
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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