We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
