Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
