I think I won the penis lottery.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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