I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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