So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
