I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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