I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
