Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
