question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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