you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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