I feel great
I just peed on a car
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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