I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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