I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
