the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His nipple licking is glorious
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