I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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