my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
