If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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