in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
