last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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