Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
