If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
